i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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