If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
