is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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