We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
