She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Text me some of your sweat
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
