i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You need Xanax blowdarts
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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