We're facebook friends in real life
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
