theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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