I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
