Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
