Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
