Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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