Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
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I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
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I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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