I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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