I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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