Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
