Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
my poor anus
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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