Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
