This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
