his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
