He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
