I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
