we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Randomize
