but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
