I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
