At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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