just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
