I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
My life is pants optional.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
