he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
