Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
