i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize