Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You're like the curious george of whores
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
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