You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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