took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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