I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
