Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
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We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
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For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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