I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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