I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
