Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
