Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
