hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Dicks are not precious.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
