so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
