I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize