i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
