If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
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You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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