I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
