you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
