Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
