I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
