One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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