OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
