I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
