i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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