hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
