People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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