does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize