dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
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I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
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Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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