I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
