What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
